When you book Techno Dads for your event, here’s what we need from you.

Technical Requirements

• One dirty 4 way adapter. Must have beer stains.
• 2x questionable Technics turntables that nobody has used for ages because everyone uses CDs now.
• Mixer – 2 working channels. Crackly crossfader, with only the metal prong sticking up as it has lost its knob. We’ll make our own knob with insulating tape.
• Microphone. Microphone is essential. At least 80% of our set these days is announcements that the buffet is now open, please make your way to the foyer.
• DJ booth – must have somewhere to put beer.
• Booth monitor – the kind of nasty little cast-off speaker that really cuts through our tinnitus.
• Bosch PSR 7.2v Cordless Lithium Ion Drill Driver with Internal Lithium Ion Battery. In case we run out of gaffer tape.
• PA: Needs bass, we do like bass.
• And some top end.
• Mid frequencies are good too.

Performance requirements

• A nun. We like the feeling of a nun.

Retro outfit option, part of the Deluxe service

Hospitality arrangements

• Meat. Dads love meat. Any meat.
• Beer. A nice hoppy pale ale. Plenty of it.
• Accomodation: It is NOT FUNNY to put a bottle of amyl nitrate under our nose while we are sleeping on your couch.

That’s it. Not too demanding really.