Robert Armani – Chicago Calling

Since it’s Friday I thought I’d share a couple of massive bangers.

First up, a tune from Robert Armani’s 1995 album that has a special place in my ageing heart, as it was the first record I played in my first ever public DJ set, which happened to be at the Sub Club, back in the days when they used to hire it out for private functions. It’s quite effective for that purpose, starting as it does with a silly siren noise to announce one’s presence, and then a big fuckoff 909 snare roll – but it’s really all about the monster riff that comes in at around 1.40. In these days of digital DJing I can now loop that bit as well cos it doesn’t go on long enough. The album is also notable for including a hard as nails Joey Beltram remix, done when he was in his golden phase ie around the time of his genius Places album on Tresor.

Robert Armani had a very distinctive sound, each tune quite simple and raw based around a big riff or two – but with a massive production that would knock your block off through a sound system. Of course, he is best known for the epic Hardfloor remix of his tune Circus Bells.

DOWNLOAD: Robert Armani – Chicago Calling

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How To: Make Techno (US Version)

Maintaining the vibe with a trance inducing bass

An epic symphony of Cack from 1996 Hollywood B Movie Vibrations. It’s about a mulleted rock star who loses his hands so starts making techno in a robot suit.

This guy explains exactly how to make techno, and has evidently been listening to Mad Mike’s synthisax noodling.

PRIMAL, HEADING FOR COSMIC.

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The Stalker – Blast

Beast of a tune from Orlando Voorn in 1997 with truly enormous and silly alien invasion synth riffs that still sound mental. Used to fairly make the Sub Club erupt when it got played at Test.

Watch out for the hihats and snare appearing at 1.33, a nice DJ moment. It’s a real DJ friendly number, if you’re the sort of DJ who likes to freak people out with weird noises. At the time techno was going through a phase of everyone copying Jeff Mills and Rob Hood making really boring minimal loopy gubbins (sound familiar? swings and roundabouts), and this was one of the non-boring standout tracks.

Orlando is still releasing quality tuneage – you can buy a shitload of his stuff here. He is perhaps best known for the George Clinton-sampling Fix Flash from 1992 which is one of those all time techno classics.

I hope he doesn’t mind me posting this…as far as I can tell it is not available to buy anywhere (apart from second hand vinyl of course).

DOWNLOAD: The Stalker – Blast

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Dad Cast 4 – Hektor Ruiez

A delectable combination of nu and old skool raveables for your earholes courtesy of Techno Dad Hektor Ruiez. He even made a rather lovely cover for it, being as he’s a bit of a wizard with Photoshop.

This Dad Cast contains a couple of Hektor’s own productions – his current release as one half of Stick 430 features choice cuts of modernised rave looking backwards to the future which has us jiggling our fat little beer bellies. If you like the sound of it here, why not head over to Juno and exchange the price of a beer for it.

Here is the purchase link: Stick 430 – Ravemore EP

Plus, don’t forget the other Dad Casts on here for your aural enjoyment….

You can find more Hektor mixes and other assorted good selections over here.

Tracklist:

Wee Papa Girl Rappers – Heat It Up
Marcus Rafferty – Classic OS
Cosmo and Dibs – Oh So Nice
Stick 430 – Boom Toon
Stick 430 – Wowmore
The Wee DJs – Wee Rule Electro
Ramadanman – Dubba
Marcus Rafferty – Locker 201

DOWNLOAD: Dad Cast 4 – I Love Techno Dads by Hektor Ruiez

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Dad Dancing: Glasgow Diamonds

A Glasgow Diamond yesterday

Amazing stuff. Those cheerleaders dancing in front of a dirty lockup…the open topped bus with Greggs in the background…the sax solo when there’s no sax playing. It’s pretty much exactly what you would expect from a Glaswegian American football team’s 1986 low budget promotional rap video.

See also Humanoid on the Hitman and Her.

And in an epic twist of fate it turns out the lead singer in this vid is a Techno Dad – in the sense that his son is Glasgow-based Warp Records glitch-hopper Hudson Mohawke. So there you go.

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Dimensional Holofonic Sound – The House Of God Part 1

No techno dad could resist doing a fat little dance to this most classic of tunes from 1990.

Sometimes simple is best. A preacher asking for cash, an offbeat square wave clonk noise, a smattering of dub effects – boof. Rave classic.

There are other versions which added more drums and effects but I dig the purity of this one.


It would probably cost you $50 or more to buy.

Not really. Lame joke.

DOWNLOAD: DHS – The House Of God Part 1

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Dad Dancing: The Monks – Monk Chant

A Monk yesterday

We’re back in black! And what better way to announce our return than with The Monks making a monstrous racket live on German TV in 1966.

I recently got a vinyl of the album Black Monk Timeon Amazon. The Monks invented punk rock in 1965, and shaved the tops of their barnets off to make em look like monks. They were probably the only band ever to feature distorted electric banjo percussion. They pioneered the use of guitar feedback as you can see from the clip. God knows what the German teenagers made of it at the time. Perhaps they all went on to form Kosmische rock bands. The Monks are a big influence on many things, most notably perhaps The Fall.

The Monks have been the soundtrack to a fair few small hours dad dancing exhibitions. I remember one night down in Leith where the dancing got so out of hand the police were called in.

Raving the police

It was during the Edinburgh International Festival, and one of the dad dancers argued that our dad dancing was certainly a much lesser breach of the peace than the Military Tattoo, which had caused late night disturbance to thousands of people for several weeks with its reactionary fireworks display.

The boys in blue were forced to give in to such a flawless legal argument and join the party.

I might have made that bit up.

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In Sync – Storm

DOWNLOAD: In Sync – Storm

One of my favourite tunes from the strange and mighty Irdial Discs. A beautiful bass line, deep techno kind of thing from 1992. Goes in the same UK clubby techno/house bucket as the Eon tune I posted back in the early days of this blog (a whole couple of weeks ago). I really hate the word deep, I don’t know why I just used it, it’s supremely wanky.

You can actually download their entire catalogue legally here, because the owner is a person who believes in that kind of thing. Good on him!

Not sure I necessarily agree – shouldn’t producers get paid? Which is rich coming from me.

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Dad Dancing: Inspector Morse Rave

A long time ago people on TV didn’t know what a rave was. Here Inspector Morse and Lewis find themselves at one. ‘It’s like some sort of an orgy!’ says Morse. Lewis wears a tartan cap to blend in. It makes him look proper Geordie.

I have a vague memory of speaking to someone who was an extra in this scene. They had an actual rave for a few hours and filmed it. And they got paid! Nice work.

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Dad Dancing: Sharevari on The Scene

The earliest yet example of dad dancing, from 1982. This clip has some outstanding moves from Detroit pre-techno dads. Stuff I could only really achieve in my head. I’d think I was tearing it up but when someone played me back a video I was actually doing a decapitated chicken type move.

Sharevari was a proto-electro tune. Featuring a great analogue synth bassline and a rather silly pseudo-Eurotrash vocal that made it popular with the Electroclash set (remember that??), it has been much remixed (see this 2002 release on Gigolo) and has even been remade by a Garage-punk band, The Dirtbombs, with some techno-ish remixes completing the circle.

But now to the Dad Dancing.

My favourite is the bloke pretending to play a guitar. Or maybe the white-looking guy at 3’00. I hesitate to say the guy with the moustache because they all seem to have them. Let the dads kick.

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